Shiva Baby (2020): Analysing the Queer Fever Dream

Rachel Sennott in the poster of Shiva Baby

Shiva Baby is Emma Seligman’s 2020 directorial debut –a horrifyingly chaotic comedy and a welcoming representation for the bisexual community. Starring Rachel Sennott as Danielle in the lead, Shiva Baby opens up boldly with moans. So do many other movies. As it unfurls, though, Danielle is a “sugar baby”. And she just wants the money while he clearly doesn’t see her reservations. Awkward? Yes, but it is the least awkward and anxiety inducing scene in the whole seventy seven minutes of the movie. Shiva Baby explores themes like sex positivity and sexuality set in morally blurred, if not morally degrading acts of extra-marital sex and deception. It explores the intersections of queer identity and non-normativity, particularly in the context of Jewish American culture. The movie follows the story of Danielle, a bisexual college student who attends a shiva (a Jewish mourning ritual) with her parents and runs into her sugar daddy and his wife. Danielle’s bisexuality is not just a part of her identity. It also drives the movie as its primary force.

The setup for the movie is in a claustrophobic and packed house of one of Danielle’s relatives whom she doesn’t know. Danielle and her family visit them for a Shiva Ceremony. Unbeknownst to her though, her childhood friend and ex-girlfriend Maya (Molly Gordon) is also there, and as if it was any less chaotic, so are Max and his wife Kim (Dianna Agron) –a revelation that shakes up her well-crafted world of lies. What follows is no less than horror comedy for I being the same age as Danielle can relate to her and simply face-palm at every turn of event. It keeps getting worse till the last minute. That is good production. It makes you feel sick and anxious to the core with second-hand embarrassment and pity for Danielle and her choice of actions.

One of the most striking aspects of the film is how it portrays the pressure to conform to social norms, particularly in the context of Jewish American culture. Danielle is expected to conform to traditional gender roles and to pursue a stable, monogamous relationship with a Jewish man. However, her sexuality and the relationship with her sugar daddy challenge these norms and force her to confront her own desires and identity. It seems that Danielle’s mother knows about her sexuality, but she does not approve of it. She hinted at it when she warned her daughter that there better not be any funny business between her and Maya. Even though Danielle’s mom supports her financially and emotionally, she disapproves of her bisexuality. She believes Danielle is going through a phase of experimenting with her sexual desires. In a hilariously ironic twist, she appears to be a self-proclaimed liberal woman in matters of sex and intimacy, and was young in New York in the 80’s and has seen it all. It shows the rejection of homosexuality even by people with positive attitude towards sex.

The film also highlights the challenges of navigating non-normative relationships and desires within a community that values conformity and tradition. Danielle struggles with feelings of shame and guilt over her relationship with her sugar daddy, compounded by the judgmental attitudes of her family and the other shiva attendees. Especially now that she knows he is married with a child (also living off his wife’s earnings). This arc compels the audience to give Danielle the benefit of doubt till she acts on her desires and gets caught, might I add. A very clumsy (and relatable) protagonist we have here. The disapproval of her relatives in her is evident in a scene where Danielle's mother confronts her about her sexual behaviour, saying "You're not supposed to be with someone like him. It's disgusting." These words were wise, they lacked compassion and acceptance which Danielle sought, and she was a consenting adult earning bonuses from her work. However, Danielle also wants her mom’s validation, which is depicted in a vulnerable moment between them when Danielle asks whether she was disappointed in her. 

Maya plays a central role to making Danielle’s day better as well as coming to terms that Max is bad news and a loser for cheating on such an amazing wife. Coward is another word that could be added to the list of adjectives for Max, for he tries to brush his fling with Danielle under the rug so Kim never finds out. A hypocrite as well, for he has the audacity to question Danielle about her lies regarding Law school while he lied about being unmarried. Maya is confident and open about her sexuality. She is homosexual. She is the only sorted and sane one in the house, offering a helping hand, support, and acceptance to Danielle. Their dynamics progresses form hostile to affectionate by the time the movie ends.

Another key theme of the film is the fluidity of desire and the complexities of sexual identity. Danielle's relationship with her sugar daddy is characterized by a complex power dynamic, as well as a fluidity of desire that defies conventional labels and categories. Danielle’s lies to Max about her future academic plans and the reason she needs money in exchange of sex for her, is about power. She belongs to a well-off family, her bills being taken care of by her parents. She does not need the money. Rather she wants it as an income for her sexual service. However, her religious background and the stigma surrounding sex work could be a reason for her to lie her way into it. It reflects the non-normativity in careers involving sex work. How often do we see sex work and prostitution being openly discussed in families and societies, let alone belong to that society and practice sex as a job. The plot vaguely touches these points and allows the audience to join the dots and conclude.

Overall, "Shiva Baby" is a thought-provoking exploration of the intersections of queer identity and non-normativity within Jewish American culture. Apart from queer themes, it also incorporates topics like body shaming that most of us have to go through at the hands of relatives. It also plays around with the topic of pressure a fresh graduate faces to take up a job. By depicting the pressures to conform to traditional norms and the challenges of navigating non-normative desires within a community that values conformity, the film offers a nuanced and empathetic portrayal of the complexities of identity and desire.